Is this you? No, no it’s not you.

The following is a panel from the Saint Edmund Campion Children’s Missal, published in 1954.

Screen Shot 2018-03-21 at 8.09.19 PM

Let’s consider some of the following items. If you are a modern, post-Vatican II Catholic:

  • Do you have a crucifix above your bed? Probably not.
  • Were you or your family actually planning on going to Mass? Fairly low chance.
  • Did your mom actually think you were up? No. Of course not.
  • Did your mom say “you’ll be late for Mass?” No. She said “hurry, we’re already late for Mass.”
  • Do you say “huh?” to your mom? No. You whine “whaaaat?! I’m trying to sleep!”
  • Does your mom dress this nice? No. And your dad dresses even worse. We live in a slob culture, so jeans and a team jersey will do just fine for Mass. In fact, why doesn’t she assume you can just go in your pajamas? Right?
  • Does your mom suggest you go to a later Mass. No. You’ve got a soccer game later, so you couldn’t even if she thought you should which, in fact, she does not.
  • Do you say “okay” to your mom’s command to go to a later Mass? No. In fact you throw a fit and argue.

Well, it looks like Bobby did make it to Mass after all.

Screen Shot 2018-03-21 at 8.31.07 PM

Oops, stand up Bobby, put your tongue back in your mouth, and hold out your hand.

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